和台灣人不一樣,我很奇怪嗎?

林嘉琳 Stephanie 諮商心理師


我們都一樣,生活中難免有踉蹌和狼狽,回首離鄉背井獨自在台灣生活的幾十年,當時孤立無援的狀態,安身又談何容易? 曾經因為文化不同、語言不同經歷過幾番揶揄嘲笑、因爲外籍人士的身分無從下手的求職路、生病抱恙之際更是感受到孤軍奮戰的巨浪...


記得與R第一次在治療室碰面那天陽光燦爛,但他面容憔悴、疲倦、從他身上感受不到活力。 R來自新加坡,中等身材、有著黑髮和黃皮膚,外觀和大部分台灣人並無差別。 原以為台灣和新加坡文化相近,再加上能說流利的中文,來台前並未太多擔心適應問題。 坐在我對面的R,看起來相當難堪,欲言又止的表示都是些日常小事,但一再發生讓他開始出現身心狀況。


「我到大賣場想買吹風筒,店員當下並未協助我,反而一直糾正我那叫吹風機,還問我從哪裡來的」 「外出用餐時,我詢問是否能提供朝天椒,老闆說台灣人不會吃便當配辣椒」 「我的中文程度算不錯,可是來臺灣之後就發現很多用字是我不會的……還有一個問題是我看不懂注音符號」 「很多人會忘記我不是臺灣人,會跟我說臺語」 「為了讓大家更快理解對話,我盡量不在對話中參雜英文,但口音和用字不同的差異常常被放大」


R憂心的問心理師「是我抗壓性太差嗎?」「我是不是很奇怪?」 心理師回應 「面對生活中排山倒海的文化適應,還願意撥出時間來談談,可見你對自我照顧的重視」 「華人在臺灣容易被看待成同文同種的族群。或許因為原生文化背景和臺灣當地文化較接近,臺灣人似乎有困難於覺察和理解他們在跨文化情境可能面臨的問題,進而觸發啞巴吃黃蓮,有苦說不出的痛苦」從對談中歸納出跨文化的適應歷程:


#在異鄉迷路和迷失自我都是正常的 離開熟悉的環境難免會對自我概念引發騷動,平靜的內在狀態被震盪出無數波瀾,適應過程若出現自我懷疑、批評責備皆屬正常。 適時停下腳步確認自己的狀態是重要的。


#連結能帶來歸屬感的事物 古人說「一不扭眾」,透過與背景相似的族群互動,產生一種自己並不孤單的感受,把情緒安頓好才有力氣繼續旅程。


#遠水真的救不了近火 為避免不同住家人的擔心,相信很多人都有報喜不報憂的經驗。人在異鄉所遭遇的困頓,除了藉由提升個人知識與技能外,主動尋求在地的協助更是重要。練習表達自身處境,除了讓他人有機會提供合宜的協助外,同時也可促進對自己的認識與了解。


#努力過後還是挫折也沒關係 練習把注意力回到自己身上,不要求快速融入和適應,提醒自己按部就班,先求有再求好,用適合自己的步調進行即可。


文化差異所帶來的衝擊,打亂了習慣與偏好,動搖了那些被我們視為理所當然的事物,適應的過程難免跌跌撞撞,為自己安排心理諮商,整理紛亂的心情和想法,才能有力量去突破困境,走一條心甘情願的路。




Is it weird that I’m not the same as Taiwanese?

#cantonesespeakingtherapist #diversity #crosscultural #adapting #awareness ⁡ I remembered when I first saw R, it was a sunny day but you can’t feel any energy from his pale and tired face. He‘s from Singapore, medium build yellow skin and dark hair, same as any Taiwanese appearance. He thought he would fit in with fluent Mandarin and similar culture so he wasn’t worried before he came to Taiwan yet R is sitting in front of me with embarrassment, telling me it’s all daily life and somehow these tiny things are causing him emotionally and physically stressful. ⁡ R asked: Am I weak not being able to handle the pressure? Am I’m weird? The psychiatrist replied: You still make time in between your culture shock, I can tell you valued self-care. Asians in Taiwan seem to be recognized as the same public so it’s hard for Taiwanese to acknowledge the differences, thus causing some foreigners unable to speak out loud about their confusion. ⁡ #It’s normal to feel lost when you’re not home When you left places you’re familiar with, you feel unease so during the adjustment it’s normal to have self-doubt and accusation. Slowing down and taking care of yourself is important. ⁡ #Connection creates belonging Connect with people who shared the same background so you won’t feel alone, you will feel energetic when you’re at peace. #Distance matter A lot of people choose not to share bad news with family at home since they can’t really help with the long distance. Finding local support will help you express more and understand yourself. ⁡ #Frustration is ok Practice focusing on yourself, don’t rush it. Pace yourself and work your way to fit in. ⁡ Cultural differences will shake us in a way that we can’t continue our routine and it might feel bumpy along the way to get used to it. Arrange a session of consulting so you have the strength to figure out how to continue your daily and unload the stress. ⁡ translation credit to Lauren Yang -------------------✄------------------ feel free to like and share so that more people can reach my article.

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